Month: June 2020

i wanna travel as an infant  >  free bitch  >  give it to me

I don’t miss chasing girls who don’t like me

says a happily married man

in the end all they needed was self esteem

when someone talks about sex too much

i become an a sexual

i don’t want to disrespectful to my family roots

but i’m about too….

keep it in your thought space

so i can hear it no more

make someones day and shrink my nightmare

i love you sometimes

oh no not the extended mix

my heart falls to pieces

i begrudgingly fall in love & hide my fears

as i dance like a pony

catching a phrase brings me happiness

sitting down for a living

i gotta find my abs.

mirror mirror on the wall

i’m doing this all wrong

“she says
grandad you always make me so happy
and all we do is sit at this table
in the kitchen together
you’re the only one
where i don’t feel lonely
or wanna kill myself
this is the only room
i feel really good in
yes dear
it’s because you are with me
that’s what love does
it makes people happy”

I’m sitting in an outdoor armchair

Internally sweltering with  intense fever

As I feel betrothed with ideals

The bong beside me looks terrible at first glance

As I wonder how many mouths have shared this before me?

I grab it and hold onto it

Smoking the bong while no-one is around

I search in a silent panic

I need a cliche right now

While I dive into despair

For silence is not bliss for long

It strikes my heart the wrong way around

I was up all night

and missed the party

I arrived so late that not even

the over nighters were around anymore

I came for the mess

The bong and no song but my own

I lay beside the pool

Healed footsteps approaching

my heart frightens and turns

It’s G.G

Dressed in white, tight, lycra suit

Breasts displayed and distracting

As they dominate the look

Her cigarette smoke waffles over right into my face

I know what she wants

She knows what I can give her

If I wanted too

I can’t help but think

Of my dear Mother

Sister & husband

Nephews & nieces

All laughing at us right now

My sister’s shaking her head and giggling

to overspilling laughter

my Mother says nothing

but gives me her eyes and lips as the answer

My brother in law is holding one of this daughters and with perfect angst

Silently mouthing “are you fucking kidding me”?

[that’s how i make my decisions sometimes,

processing my feelings for G.G. in imaginary life]

My nephews & nieces are asking questions

About the woman who sits beside me

Does she know anything about the solar system?

Does she know anything?

Why does her face look messy?

Is she ok?

While G.G. is meowing at me

Her sleazy eyes undress me and I quiver

Leave me alone

Silent refusal

Now I need a drink

I walk over to the leftovers

And have a quick shot of 10

The pool is laden

With everything I don’t want

I missed the part

I would have wanted

I drive home drunk

But don’t worry

I’m a really good drunk driver

I drive to my Mothers house

She makes a brew of coffee

we sit together

On the patio, in the sun

She asks me gently

With a touch of concern and true love

How are you?

Followed by her eyes with a stern look

I avoided the plague and I am kinda drunk

Why do you do this?

Every time when ever you are not working it starts off good

and then it goes south.