I’m sitting in an outdoor armchair
Internally sweltering with intense fever
As I feel betrothed with ideals
The bong beside me looks terrible at first glance
As I wonder how many mouths have shared this before me?
I grab it and hold onto it
Smoking the bong while no-one is around
I search in a silent panic
I need a cliche right now
While I dive into despair
For silence is not bliss for long
It strikes my heart the wrong way around
I was up all night
and missed the party
I arrived so late that not even
the over nighters were around anymore
I came for the mess
The bong and no song but my own
I lay beside the pool
Healed footsteps approaching
my heart frightens and turns
It’s G.G
Dressed in white, tight, lycra suit
Breasts displayed and distracting
As they dominate the look
Her cigarette smoke waffles over right into my face
I know what she wants
She knows what I can give her
If I wanted too
I can’t help but think
Of my dear Mother
Sister & husband
Nephews & nieces
All laughing at us right now
My sister’s shaking her head and giggling
to overspilling laughter
my Mother says nothing
but gives me her eyes and lips as the answer
My brother in law is holding one of this daughters and with perfect angst
Silently mouthing “are you fucking kidding me”?
[that’s how i make my decisions sometimes,
processing my feelings for G.G. in imaginary life]
My nephews & nieces are asking questions
About the woman who sits beside me
Does she know anything about the solar system?
Does she know anything?
Why does her face look messy?
Is she ok?
While G.G. is meowing at me
Her sleazy eyes undress me and I quiver
Leave me alone
Silent refusal
Now I need a drink
I walk over to the leftovers
And have a quick shot of 10
The pool is laden
With everything I don’t want
I missed the part
I would have wanted
I drive home drunk
But don’t worry
I’m a really good drunk driver
I drive to my Mothers house
She makes a brew of coffee
we sit together
On the patio, in the sun
She asks me gently
With a touch of concern and true love
How are you?
Followed by her eyes with a stern look
I avoided the plague and I am kinda drunk
Why do you do this?
Every time when ever you are not working it starts off good
and then it goes south.